New Years dissolution restitution?

I usually write about how I feel

But lately I don’t really know

Is there something I’m trying to conceal?

All I know is the words they won’t flow

Maybe I’m just copying you by being aloof

And maybe it’s about time

But I don’t buy it if I tell you the truth

Because I know you’re fractionally mine

Each time it’s a hesitant indefinite goodbye

Because we are each others muse

Hold your tongue don’t deny it don’t lie

We each have so much but so little to lose

I bring you alive in the words that I write

A poets muse how’s that for your ego?

And you bring me alive in the passion you fight

So I guess I’m the muse for your libido?

I like you I really do which is rare for me

But it’s a fact I’ve decided to embrace

Because whilst I am completely free

Sometimes I need the comfort of your face

And despite the games and the fights

Right now I want to keep you near

Because I do feel darkness some nights

And darling there’s so much that I fear

I will love again like I did once love you

And next time it’ll be exquisite I pray

And though I promised we were completely through

Just a while longer I must let him stay

When I answered this time I wasn’t a fool

I needed him to hold me near

Because fuck me this life has been cruel

I couldn’t lose him as well this year


2 can play

You think you know me well

Your assumptions you quickly tell

Don’t mix my desires with your own

He isn’t yours to place on loan

The beauty of it is the truth

But to reveal it is rather uncouth

Beside my life isn’t yours to unravel

You’ve already set me a path of gravel

Turn a blind eye close the door

We both know you’ve done that before

My youth is a playground I dance in the dark

And in his nights I’ve left my mark

Hunny now please try have some discretion

I didn’t see the signs saying he was your possession?

Didn’t no one ever teach you how to be gracious

You don’t get everything from being flirtatious

Now I don’t like to play this like any old game

But you can’t seem to let go of my name

I can’t help but smirk at your piteous fear

Hunny you really have no idea

Jekyll and Hyde

I’m torn between being a good person

And following my desire

With the night I worsen

And play recklessly with fire

Everything I’m engaging with

Is woven with danger and risk

But I tremble as your hands give

As we playfully frisk

I’m a slave to the euphoria

Of something so dark but consuming

Your mouth becomes my emporia

A world we keep on resuming

I know I make you question it all

Your life, your desires, your internal fire

But as you push me against the wall

I’m not the only beautiful little liar

Angel of Darkness

Don’t you dare think about it

Don’t let it cross your mind

No it doesn’t quite fit

But there’s nothing more to find

Wake up dreamer it was all real

You did it what’s new

There’s nothing more to feel

It’s just the same old you

Yes it is quite amusing

You can’t seem to lay low

And yes it’s quite confusing

That you never say no

Stop letting your mind stray

Alright, that’s rather ironic

When those thoughts turn in to play

After a gin and tonic

Alright alright I accept my sin

I’m bad I’m wrong I’m so far gone

Pass me another gin

And call me queen of Babylon

Yes I’m being melodramatic

But I’m a woman in a quandary

Over why she’s so erratic

And constantly has dirty laundry

But I guess I can turn a new leaf

Keep out of trouble

Oh what a relief

Until my old ways double

It’s quite rich how I try to behave

But as soon as I ponder

It comes over me in a wave

And god that mouth… I wander…

Tempestuous Torrent

How do I find myself here

Living in the fast lane

My life is not as it may appear

In fact it’s quite insane

Does the surreal absorb me?

Take me as its own

It’s kind of warped to a degree

The echo of the moan

One can blame intoxication

The hazy reckless lust

One could plead provocation

No hesitation but an affirmed must

But explanation is what one will use

To cover up their desire

And whilst I have nothing to lose

I’ll keep sparking my internal fire

Once I used to let guilt enter my veins

But your eyes too search for I

So I’ll let you take the reins

Make me your beautiful little lie

And as we meet in the dark

With less incoherence

It’s clear on each we left our mark

To create this unexpected adherence

Are you reading this as you drink your morning coffee?

Wondering if this is about him or her or you

Or maybe you’re encroaching with subjectivity

For what you yearn to be true

And as you rise the world sighs a new day

Vastly contrasting where I sit now

With my candid words at play

The secrets of the night remain here I vow

So if you wish you know where to return

If you miss my troubled mouth

For that feeling once more you may yearn

And for all that points south

My god we live so far in contrast

To the point that this version of each other

May lay for years in the past

My forbidden blue moon lover

And although I can’t ask you to always love me like this

When we are caught in our blue moon bliss

Remember somewhere inside of me

The person I am those nights will always be

Cerulean Chimera

When I look at you I see a spark of brilliance

Of withstanding resilience

A man who hasn’t lived his fulfillment

Who’ll sacrifice his soul for reconcilement

And that is how I know you

I feel every ache, every battle you’ve been through

You’re the kind of man a girl dreams about

Who could free me of every aching doubt

And in that sense I lust your being

A soul like yours is so freeing

I’m young but my soul is so very old

And my heart has become so very cold

So cease the fickle game

And smother me in your pain

Together we can rock the tide

And in me you can confide

I want to know your first love and pain

Who kissed you hard in the pouring rain

I want to know all of you from tip to toe

And free you gently of your heavy woe

Kiss your wounds and your steady lips

And wrap my legs around your hips

Because I know you don’t get it – I’m young and I’m free

But you’ll never feel home like you do next to me

Disenchanted Dalliance

Don't look at me like that
You know I can't cope with your eyes
You know that I've spent years
Dancing in shadows of your lies
You are so beautiful
Although I can't quite work out
Whether you're that confident
Or your arrogance comes from doubt
It sometimes disgusts me
How you dance like the world is yours
But your aura is a breathe of fresh air
From the blues and the bores
You spin me in the moonlight
Your bright eyes with that glint
Each year we fall back together
I get that same old hint
It's like you want to caress me
Softly in your troubled embrace
But when my hands linger
You quickly let go of my face
Darling you're so scared aren't you?
Of opening up to the one you love to hate
But maybe our dark paths of life
Keep joining together as fate