Disenchanted Dalliance

Don't look at me like that
You know I can't cope with your eyes
You know that I've spent years
Dancing in shadows of your lies
You are so beautiful
Although I can't quite work out
Whether you're that confident
Or your arrogance comes from doubt
It sometimes disgusts me
How you dance like the world is yours
But your aura is a breathe of fresh air
From the blues and the bores
You spin me in the moonlight
Your bright eyes with that glint
Each year we fall back together
I get that same old hint
It's like you want to caress me
Softly in your troubled embrace
But when my hands linger
You quickly let go of my face
Darling you're so scared aren't you?
Of opening up to the one you love to hate
But maybe our dark paths of life
Keep joining together as fate

a series of unfortunate heartwrench 1.0

You were the first
And since your lips I've been cursed
I remember thinking now this is complication
But you were the first of a whole damn compilation
It was all wrong we both said
But that all changed once we got to bed
When it was the two of us we didn't care
This innocent intimacy we didn't have to share
But when you have the world on your shoulder
The outside world acts as a boulder
You loved me yes I'm pretty sure
It's just you felt you owed your family more
We were too young to have felt what we felt
And really a shit card we got dealt
But you taught me love like no other
And you were my best friend as well as my lover
If the world wasn't so heavy maybe you'd still be here
And together we'd have conquered the obstacles and our fear

Rocky Horrorscope

I like my liquor bitter
Like my deep dark soul
Maybe it's kick
Will make me feel whole
If this doesn't then what?
Nothing seems to soothe
I feel blank yet so intricate
I could hang in the louvre
It is an art this life I live
There seems to be a knack
A bit like 'smile, don't falter'
'Don't let them see you crack'
I'm tired of this endless cycle
Of every god damn day
For god sake oh surely
There must be an easier way
But I've been down every avenue
I've shouted, begged and cried
But all to no avail
Well shit at least I tried
So now I sit in silence
Alone by choice of heart
There's no more chances given
To risk being torn apart
Oh solitude you may seem pitiful
To the eye of the spectator
But everyone leaves you nevertheless
I just found out sooner rather than later
Don't pity me my love
For some riches I still hold
And life has made me stronger
I'll be a wise girl when I'm old
And maybe one day I'll let go
Of what coats my heart in glass
I'll learn to love again
And let the memories pass
For this does not define me
This period of unclarity
But I can't seem to shake off
The overwhelming, encompassing disparity
And no matter how clear my head
Or foggy from the liquor I adore
Neither form gives me clues
To what the future has in store

to the infamous you,

 

i woke up one day and i knew it was true

i’d finally let go of the endeavour that was you

it took months of constant, well, shit

and meanwhile you still never found my clit.

all jokes aside now I’m a woman you see

and this woman knows you’ll never again touch me

don’t ask me what the devil i saw

to be quite honest you were often quite the bore.

no no, i don’t blame you for all those.. issues

but i’ll write a memo to send you my tissues

no i won’t be needing those but darling, you will.

What I mean to say is haven’t you seen my mother?

like fine wine we improve with age, so be prepared, my lover

don’t get me wrong what we had it was fun

but i don’t need a little boy who’ll get close then run

i loved playing games it was a thrill i’ll give you that

except you took it too far and looked like a class A prat

you called me ugly, and put me down in every way you could

despite the fact i worshipped the ground on which you stood

but less of the heartache I’m no victim so forgive me please

your boys they still want me from overseas

ha.

but back to the business I’m finally scot- free,

so don’t come calling just let me be,

you were a lesson well learnt and i thank you for that

you taught me how you can in fact love a massive twat

anyway i hope you find closure in these fleeting ladies

and wish you well in your treatment for rabies

i know i know i joke too much, i laugh too hard,

but thats just me- miss avant- garde

so excuse me for my fierceness and lack of grace

i’m sorry i can’t be just a complacent pretty face

i wish you well and every success but just so you know

if you call me in 10 years time, it’ll be a resounding no

 

take care, don’t get bald and fat,

love always, your notorious Nat x

 

 

 

 

timeless reprisal

‘darling you’re timeless’

london town, breeze in the air,

you’ve got that same old aura,

that never seems to wear.

i meet your viridescent eyes,

i flinch.

you think it’s still there.

 

and just like that you’re back,

that old familiar glint,

your hands on my thighs,

where you left your print.

but i push you away,

and cut your reprise,

‘whats timeless little boy,

are your games,

and your lies’

 

sin master 

4.58
my mind starts to collate.

the correlation of burning hate

and why fucking you was great.

I mean,

as it goes for flings

you had me on strings

i’d be screaming in your face

yet end up back at your place.

I liked playing games with you

you were as twisted as me

actually boy I was better

I just never let you see.

I was your little toy thing

‘she’s at my beck and call’

but did you watch my shadow?

sometimes puppets fall..