acquiescent accessories

march, april, may.

today’s just another day.

my favourite moment is the bliss,

of the early morning kiss,

the part where I wake up dazed,

in that moment so unfazed,

forgotten is the bleak reality,

my mind as wavering as the deep blue sea,

I forget the troubles of the past,

the plight this god damn universe cast,

but then I remember the loss, the pain,

the strong, resilient, incessant rain,

oh give me one more day of sun,

i’m sick and tired of my daily succumb,

for what use is silent ordeal,

how much more can one feel?

so notice as all your days rise,

I still bathe in the web of lies,

plead your innocence you do ‘no wrong’,

but you knew your sins all along,

I hope you one day experience this deceit,

for as they say, revenge is sweet,

so take your stand, play your part,

each one of you helped break my heart.

 

 

through the rose tinted looking glass

selfish people like to say

they never meant for it to be this way

so if thats the case help me understand

whom exactly forced your hand?

you try so hard to make things right

and yet you’re busy every night

I hear its happiness that you seek?

my god you really are so weak

look around you, at what you had

all lost because of this senseless fad

if you weren’t happy with the love you had before

I can assure you it won’t be found outside the door

a selfish person once said to me

‘I need to put myself first and be free’

so you go ahead, spread your wings wide

push your unconditional love to the side

but let me remind you my lesson in this hurt

those you think love you can so easily desert

and who will you turn to when you’re left in the dust

ah, those rose tinted glasses will need to adjust!

but I won’t help you, don’t you see?

for where were you each sunrise plea?

lost and confused in this foreign country

I’d stay up and whisper ‘please fight for me’

solitary soliloquy

I don’t believe in love

or power up above

I don’t believe in hope
or methods of how to cope
I don’t believe in you
or things you swear aren’t true
I don’t believe in fate
or repression of choking hate
I don’t believe in compassion
or ‘betrayal’ as a fashion
No I don’t believe any of it.
But I believe in myself.
I’m my own greatest wealth.

to the infamous you,

 

i woke up one day and i knew it was true

i’d finally let go of the endeavour that was you

it took months of constant, well, shit

and meanwhile you still never found my clit.

all jokes aside now I’m a woman you see

and this woman knows you’ll never again touch me

don’t ask me what the devil i saw

to be quite honest you were often quite the bore.

no no, i don’t blame you for all those.. issues

but i’ll write a memo to send you my tissues

no i won’t be needing those but darling, you will.

What I mean to say is haven’t you seen my mother?

like fine wine we improve with age, so be prepared, my lover

don’t get me wrong what we had it was fun

but i don’t need a little boy who’ll get close then run

i loved playing games it was a thrill i’ll give you that

except you took it too far and looked like a class A prat

you called me ugly, and put me down in every way you could

despite the fact i worshipped the ground on which you stood

but less of the heartache I’m no victim so forgive me please

your boys they still want me from overseas

ha.

but back to the business I’m finally scot- free,

so don’t come calling just let me be,

you were a lesson well learnt and i thank you for that

you taught me how you can in fact love a massive twat

anyway i hope you find closure in these fleeting ladies

and wish you well in your treatment for rabies

i know i know i joke too much, i laugh too hard,

but thats just me- miss avant- garde

so excuse me for my fierceness and lack of grace

i’m sorry i can’t be just a complacent pretty face

i wish you well and every success but just so you know

if you call me in 10 years time, it’ll be a resounding no

 

take care, don’t get bald and fat,

love always, your notorious Nat x

 

 

 

 

lucidfer dreaming 

I sometimes dream of a distant land,

where you seem to be holding my weathered hand,

i’m laughing in a way that I haven’t for years,

in the way where you’d bring me to euphoric tears,

the skin round your eyes is creased yet so new,

with that same old laurel glint I know that it’s you,

and I’m like your hardy it’s only us two,

as I feel like I’m getting close to you, it happens on cue,

you let go of my hand and start to fade,

once again I’ve fallen victim to your flawless charade,

in reality or dream world you’re always the same,

the way that I fall each time puts me to shame,

cos you never stay quite long enough,

but just enough that I shatter with your rebuff,

each dream it’s like you’re nearly there,

and every time it’s like you’re back with me I swear,

but you’ve always been the same about my wholemeal eyes,

you’ve used them as a bed for your wicked lies,

but you’d never let them go and find someone new,

you’d rather they create hazel in a  whirlwind  with you,

i’m lucky that dreams make your tea green evanesce,

and the longer I don’t see you the less I regress,

the state that you greet me within my slumber is just right,

but I wish, unlike the real you, you’d stay beyond the night,

I know that is something beyond my power,

but I pray that you’ll listen to me in the midnight hour,

let go of my hand, let all our past go,

and walk next to me in my dreams at least,

as my friend, not my foe.

timeless reprisal

‘darling you’re timeless’

london town, breeze in the air,

you’ve got that same old aura,

that never seems to wear.

i meet your viridescent eyes,

i flinch.

you think it’s still there.

 

and just like that you’re back,

that old familiar glint,

your hands on my thighs,

where you left your print.

but i push you away,

and cut your reprise,

‘whats timeless little boy,

are your games,

and your lies’

 

sin master 

4.58
my mind starts to collate.

the correlation of burning hate

and why fucking you was great.

I mean,

as it goes for flings

you had me on strings

i’d be screaming in your face

yet end up back at your place.

I liked playing games with you

you were as twisted as me

actually boy I was better

I just never let you see.

I was your little toy thing

‘she’s at my beck and call’

but did you watch my shadow?

sometimes puppets fall..